There seems to be a trend with me and this blog, after a long hiatus I come back to it and write how I have failed and will try to do better but never do.
It is what it is.
I don't ever have a definitive reason for coming back to this blog but I often check in and catch up on some blog that I follow and never take the time to write something myself, which defeats the whole purpose of why I started this thing.
Anyway, it's pretty much been two years since I have written anything of consequence.
In these last two years I have had some pretty high highs and some pretty low lows.
Starting with summer of 2011, I didn't know at the time, but that summer would be the last summer I was going to be able to spend with my dad. Without knowing what was coming I naturally chose to spend more time with him. We had many family trips planned and were able to do some things we had been wanting to do for a long time, and somethings we had planned we still weren't able to do.
We had a family trip planned for the second week in August, a trip we had been wanting to do for years. Two weeks before that trip I was invited on a Lake Powell trip by some new friends that was at the same time. One week later after a short backpacking trip my dad suffered a stroke that lead to minor complications resulting in a week long stay in the hospital. Because of that, we had to cancel the trip. Members of my family still went but because my dad couldn't be there I decide to go to Lake Powell with a group of people who were mostly strangers.
That would turn out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. I met some of my current best friends on that trip, some who were just what I was going need over the next 7 months.
October rolled around and my dad seemed to be recovering well, gaining strength and coordination. Fall break he had another stroke and that began another list of complication.
We don't know what exactly what was going on but to make a long story short over the next 5 months he slowly weakened.
In March surrounded by our immediate family he passed into the next life.
As sad as it was, and as hard it was to watch him go, I felt at peace.
If it weren't for some of the friends I made that fall I don't know how I would have handled it all.
One of those friends who helped me the most lost her dad 5 years before and was there as a support to help me through it and I will be forever grateful for her. There were also many other who were there for me when I needed them.
Now that a year has passed and things are back to normal, at least as normal as they can be, I feel somewhat empty. I've been told I handled the whole ordeal extremely well, but that, I believe has been somewhat to my detriment. Life is smooth, but as I have moved on, so have those friends I came so close to. We will forever be friends, but I just don't see them very often for various reasons.
Along with friends moving on, this summer both my older brother and younger sister will be getting married leaving me the lone ranger at home. With one more year of school I am left in a very awkward situation, and have some very big decisions to make over the next year or so.
The biggest decisions I will face in the next year deal mostly with school, career path, and dating.
I always have so many thoughts and things going through my mind it's hard to organize and make any sense of them. I want to make another effort at this blog and report on my progress of making sense of this world and pursuing the life I imagine myself living.
I think that is sufficient rambling for the day, I hope to check back in shortly.
Peace and Love,
Anonymous Blogger
