Me? I'm a little different.

I'm on a roll!

At the end of my past post I mentioned something about being different from everyone else and that there are no two people alike in the world.

I just kinda wanted to go through all the things that I think make me different, and make me...me.

Now, when I talk about being "different" I'm not talking about it some diminished capacity way, but just as I've said, being my own individual.

Some of these things you may find common but I guess I'll just tell you a bit about myself and I'll let you be the judge.

The most important thing about me and being able to be me is not caring what other people think and not letting them convince me otherwise.

I often use big words and talk somewhat old fashioned. Quite often my friends and people give me weird looks and make comments like, "ok, whatever that means". It's not my fault you have a small vocabulary. Then again, when it comes to spending time at home my family's vocabulary makes me feel like an idiot, but we do have fun talking in accents though.

Along the lines of vocabulary, sometimes words, mostly simple words, completely escape me and I sit in an awkward silence. It's fun. ...not really.

I'm also a bit of a grammar Nazi, but I know people hate Nazi's so I try to oppress that side of me.

That's what I get for being corrected by one of the biggest grammar Nazis of all time, my father, a college professor.

I cook, and man can I cook. Or at least I think I can...and baking, particularly rolls. Love em. 

I enjoy it, and for some reason people think that's weird.

Whatever. 

I know my wife will love me for it.

Cleaning and staying organized. Sometimes I lose control and things will get a little messy but that's when I do my best work. I'll kinda snap and spend hours cleaning and detailing everything.

My room

the kitchen

my car

our yard

then shed

the garage

and even the bathroom.

I find it quite fulfilling. I like the little details. 

I'm sure my wife will love me for that too.

I can juggle on a unicycle.

Weird, unique, whatever, I know.
Taught myself to unicycle in high school, taught myself how to juggle oranges while working at Jamba Juice just out of high school, then couple years back thought about putting them together.
I also solved a Rubik's cube on my unicycle at an EFY talent show. The ladies loved it.
Ok, maybe, not really.

I'm kinda weird, as I'm sure you deduced from that last little thing there.
I'm proud of my weirdness and it comes out at random, often in the form of words that make my friends say, "what?", and then conversation just goes on.

As much as I would like to be "tall, dark, and handsome", I'm not.
I'm about 6 inches, dark, and handsome short of being such.
I'm kinda short, as hard as it is for me to admit that, it's a fact, and it's who I am.
I'm running a few inches short of average when it comes to men my age.
So what, sue me.

I'm not a muscle head, far from it.
But I am quite athletic and very active.
I pretty much enjoy anything and everything that can be defined as a "sport", and much more.

I take random hikes, at random times.
Last summer out of no where I decided to ditch all my plans for the 4th of July, just kidding, I didn't have any plans, surprise surprise!
Anyway instead of making plans I hiked Mount Ogden.
That's the big peak East of Ogden with the radio towers.
I did it alone, and watched all the firework shows 5,000 feet below.
I've also hiked it in the middle of the night to watch the sun rise.

That was one for the books.

My taste in music is unlike anyone I've ever met.
All the mainstream pop music makes me sick.
Sure they're fine at dance parties when no one cares about anything but when I'm by myself you won't catch me dead listening to that garbage.
I listen to either oldies, some nostalgic music from my past, or just some of the smaller names and bands that are floating around, with the occasional high profile artist. Don't think I'm a hipster or anything, I'm not a snob about it.
I particularly enjoy female vocalists. Usually one's with unique voices.

I don't have little man syndrome.
I don't drive a big lifted truck to make me feel better about myself.
I actually drive a little zippy sports car.
It's the car of my dreams, at least for my current budget.

It is very unique and if you saw it you would have no question whether it was mine or not.
Just like tonight, I was in class at the U and a friend texted me and said, "I spy your car".
Parked at the Institute at the U.
Very individualistic, very...me.

I hate school, but love learning.
Being required to learn certain things is a serious drag. I end up spending most of class reading up on things that have nothing to do with that class or even my degree. So glad I'm in my last semester.
C's get degrees.
That kinda my philosophy for this last semester(I'll likely get better than that though).

This one is weird, but I think it's awesome.
Sometimes when people touch you, you get that tingly feeling on your head and down your arms, right?
Well, I can give myself that feeling when people touch my stuff.
My stuff!
Better yet, if I convince my mind to think something is mine and people touch it, I get the feeling.
And every movement they make sends another wave.
For example, if someone borrows a pen from me, all I have to do is watch them use it, and I get it.

What color of hair I am attracted to constantly changes.
I'll go from blondes to brunettes, back to blondes, then to redheads, back to blondes, and it goes
on and on.
Right now?
I'd have to say blondes.
Especially ones that wear beanies,
and big sweaters,
and dark jeans
tucked into tall brown boots.

Saw one of those today.

I let her keep walking, away from me.
Shame.


Now that my mind is rolling I think I could go on and on and on.
But if I did that, you, my masses of readers, would get bored.
So I better save it for another day.



Cheers,

Anonymous Blogger

To the masses.

After a post like yesterday's I hope all of you, my masses of readers, don't think I'm some sad little boy who has no friends and is helpless.

I want to assure you that this isn't the case. 

I got to thinking as I was driving around today and jammin' out to some of my favorite tunes that I really am happy and there isn't really too much out there that gets me worked up on a regular basis. Sure there are things, like those I posted about yesterday that I let get to me on occasion but honestly, those things come and go so fast it makes my head spin.

I am who I am and if people around don't like and appreciate me for that, they're just gonna have to deal with it. Granted, there are things and aspects of my life that I do indeed need to work on, I don't do it for anyone but myself.

I am happy.

I am happy with who I am and there isn't anything that is going to change that.

There is a sense of confidence that comes from you knowing that you are your own individual. There is nothing that says you have to be like everyone else around you.

I can assure you that I am like no one you have ever met before.

Seriously, and in more aspects than you could probably imagine.

That's what makes me Great.

Thoughts

It seems that the only time I come back to this blog is when I need to organize my thoughts and find some answers for myself.

I guess this last week I've had a few things that have come up that both frustrate me and give me more questions. These events and questions mostly stem from friends and family.

I would usually add in school and work but those are probably the only two things that I can say I don't have to worry about too much at the moment.  I was just given a raise and I really have unlimited possibilities there, and school, I'm almost done and I'm just pushing through it.

Most of my frustrations stem from some things that happened over the last few nights. I got a text from a friend telling me that I need to go on a date. Thats usually a given, I should probably go on dates a lot more often than I do but for some reason I haven't been too worried about that lately. Once I get done with school and get that monkey off my back I'll probably feel a little more internal pressure to get out a little more often.

Back to the text, he said that I didn't need to find the girl, all I needed to do was agree.

So Naturally, I agreed, yes I should probably go on a date soon.

So of course thinking that his girlfriend probably knew someone that they thought I would match well with and thinking that they would want to double or something I said ok, what's it all about?

All he said was, "her name is so-and-so, her number is such-and-such, and she's available Wednesday".... That's it?

Come on man, just throw me some random chicks name and number and basically say good luck?

I don't roll that way. Throw me a frickin bone here.

I found it appalling and somewhat insulting.

I basically said that I wasn't available and he shouldn't be banking on me taking her out.

Generally in the past when people try and set me up, it feels like they are doing it out of pity, just hoping that there is some slim chance that I may like her. Hasn't happened once.

When I want to go on a date, I find a girl and I have no problem doing that. If I find a girl really attractive, then I get a little nervous and shy and it doesn't always work out the way I plan but whatever.

He wrote me back telling me those were his last efforts.

Last efforts?

Is it the contract of our friendship for you to be obligated to find me dates? Are there a set number of times you can try and set me up? Does quality of the set up not count even if that was the case? Last time I checked there are aspects of friendship that come long before sending me on a date with some random chick. 

Granted, I have known this kid my whole life, I still just didn't trust him to set me up with someone that I would find attractive. I couldn't resist and looked her up and sure enough, there wasn't any sort a wow factor, and I know from his history of girlfriends that she isn't someone he would find attractive. It's like they think she is in my same position and they think we are both helpless so they feel bad for us and try to set us up. She may be helpless for all I know, but I sure as hell am not. I guess it just shows he doesn't have much confidence in me, and he instills 0 confidence in me doing such an act. Talk about making me feel like nothing.

It just makes me wonder, where did I go wrong? Or did I go wrong at all?

Should I be worried that people around me perceive me as someone much less confident and attractive than I perceive myself to be? How is that going to affect me when I really start pushing to date someone?

Let is suffice to say that my friend situation seems to be a bit awkward at the moment. All of my best friends are married and I don't get to hang around them much in the same capacity as I used to so I'm trying to make due with friends who aren't married and haven't historically had my back as well as others. I guess it's time to try flyin solo again and see what I can come up with.

Speaking of married friends. A bunch of them were throwing a big group date together and were going to do something that has traditionally not required a date but now that so many of them are married it was going to this year. I wanted to go but wasn't too interested in taking a girl on a first date to be around a bunch of married people participating in activities that aren't a guaranteed good time for all involved.

The next best option was to go to dinner with my family for my brothers birthday, which really was the first option. Some friends gave me crap for it(the friend who tried to set me up...who didn't go either) but I was really happy to spend the evening with my family. As much as I am sometimes annoyed with the antics of some members of my family, we all came together and had a good time and were happy.

Thoughts were rolling deep last night and I became somewhat emotional thinking about all of this. What it really comes down to is that no matter how well you think your friends have your back, they can and will fail you. Often times when you are in your greatest need. But family, family will always be there and there is no greater feeling than knowing that they will be there, forever.

I just hope that one day soon I will be able to find a friend who I can trust and before they have a chance to turn on me we can turn each other into family, and at that point I will know that they will be my friend forever because they are now family.

Hope to see you again soon, but likely in another year.

Anonymous Blogger